Greetings from Worth in West Sussex. The church is 5 minutes from our house. Pic taken by Mrs P in 2010

Yep-those UK Jewish/Mormon/Hindu/Christian/Sikh/Buddhist youth groups are all “radicalising” young terrorists….

Ofsted inspectors could be sent into Sunday schools, church youth groups, Scout troops and even bell ringing circles to search for signs of children being “radicalised” under new counter-extremism plans, church leaders and voluntary groups fear. The proposals, backed by David Cameron, could lead to thousands of “out-of-school education settings” having to be formally registered for the first time and facing inspections to judge whether they are promoting so-called “British values”.

That’s right – David Cameron and Secretary of Education Nicky Morgan are both pimping this grand plan to recruit legions of snoopers to sit in on your daughter’s ballet class or your son’s football squad training in case they are being given lessons to construct a clock bomb or a suicide vest;

Radicalisation

It’s the current buzzword on the lips of the great and the good. In walks a perfectly normal teenager, ears glued to ipod with that global look of adolescent sullenness. Teacher/coach/instructor mouths a few magic word, waves a wand and same teenager straightens up, dons a burka or bomb vest and is ready to hit the street to kill and maim a posse of non believers – then up stands Mr/Ms Ofsted Snooper, shoves a list of “British Values” in the teenagers face and – bingo – he/she reverts back into obnoxious acne scarred youthdom.

Well, that’s what Nicky Morgan thinks will work…

Before 1933 Germany was a nation full of clubs and groups for young and old…hobbyists, athletes, petlovers, drinkers, the lot. Within two years the Nazis had subsumed them all under the NSDAP umbrella. Nazi eyes and ears made certain that every one of those groups conformed to Hitler’s worldview and the individualistic and the eccentric were smothered under a blanket of brown mediocrity. The same happened in the old Soviet Union and those counti

These Cameron/Morgan proposals are exactly the same. Because our rulers are so terrified of focusing on the one community where a minority of fanatics are eager to recruit new agents to break our bones and bodies in order to bend us to their will they have to go through this charade of tarring us all with the same brush.

And they have the nerve to call Trump a fascist?

Give me strength….

Can’t connect to a Wi-Fi network from Amazon Fire TV device even though you have entered your network code fifteen times and you are about to take out the Firestick and flush it down the toilet?

Try this

Make yourself a large gin & tonic with plenty of ice

Take a few sips and relax……

Pick up the firestick remote

Press SELECT and PLAY at the same time and hold down for at least five seconds

Enjoy the show as you seamlessly connect……

It was one of those free seminars organised in a hotel by a pair of spivs financial advisors who desperately wanted us to invest our spare cash and mortgage our future via a crap financial product (aka “golden opportunity”) that gave minimal return but carried eye watering charges. Still there was free wine and a few nibbles so what the hell…

As the pinstripe suited spivs droned on the combined effect of central heating and generous helpings of cheap plonk began to drift me towards the arms of Lethe.  As my eyelids drooped I caught the phrase “diversify your portfolio” wafting over me from spiv #2 – then woke with a start at the sound of a different voice

It was Mr Geezer. That was not his real name…. he was Mick…or was it Vic…or maybe Rick? Anyway, before the meeting began he told the rest of us he was “something in Door Furniture” and could obviously solve all our hinge or letterbox problems with one sweep of a cordless drill and a few screws in conjunction with his loud Croydon accent and full frontal verbal assault.

“Yeah – diversify. That’s what I’m gonna do when I’ve saturated the Coulsdon/Purley door furniture market…leaving the boy to deal with that while I build up Garden Lighting”

By now spiv #2 was eager to get back into once in a lifetime investment plans but the global ambitions of Mr Geezer sparked our interest – probably in the same way as King Ferdinand’s attention was caught in the middle of Christopher Columbus’s pitch about the westward route to the Spice Islands.

“But isn’t Garden Lighting a bit of a jump from Door Furniture” inquired some timid soul (clearly frightened of falling off the edge of the world)

“Nah” said Mr G with a note of contempt “if Richard Branson can make a fortune in pickle and then set up an airline what’s to worry about?”

None of us had the heart….