All the experienced hacks were despatched into the ether because they were far too expensive and you couldn’t easily link their output to advertising fashion or furniture, food or flydrives. They were then replaced with cheap gap year students highly skilled in cutting and pasting stuff from other media outlets – in other words the Telegraph became a slightly upmarket version of the Daily Mail.

In yet another brilliant cost cutting wheeze they realised they didn’t really need specialists in reporting politics. Instead they could get one of their lifestyle drones to double up.

Enter Matthew Norman, restaurant critic, wine expert – and ace commentator on UK and US politics.

He writes a Bryony Gordon style “filler” column every Saturday (just to plug up what would be a rather white patch of paper) and this week he gives the US Republican Party some advice culled from his vast experience of eating freebie meals in expensive restaurants….go for the middle.

You see failed lawyer Matthew knows that the GOP needs to copy the Democrats and get a “centrist” candidate like Obama. Forget the wingnut Tea Party, listen to the wise men from New York and Washington and choose an MSM selected safe pair of hands who won’t rock the boat, won’t worry about the deficit and certainly won’t do anything to irritate Iran or North Korea.
Hey and forget about Sarah Palin

Obama’s one serious electoral fear is the imposition of a more dangerous candidate at an open or brokered GOP convention in August. That worry has now receded. The only Republican to show an interest in that, and then only for a tease, is the high priestess of folksy narcissism from Alaska – and even the Republican party isn’t bonkers enough to hand the keys to the asylum to Sarah Palin.

After all, of what use was she or the Tea Party in the 2010 midterms…

Besides if you want to find an expert on narcissism look no further than restaurant critic….